Kutizerana bishobora gutera ihahamuka buriya ndetse ni kimwe mu bibazo biteye inkeke mu mubano w’abakundana. Mu gihe bamwe bigira impumyi cyangwa se bakamera nk’ababyirengagije igihe bamenye ko umuntu bakundana ari kubaca inyuma, abandi bo babifata nkaho abo bakundana batakibizera kubera ko ibikorwa basigaye bakora ndetse n’uburyo bitwara bitandukanye nuko bari basanzwe babitwaraho mbere.

Ibi bimenyetso ngiye kukwereka bifate nkaho bishoboka cyane, ko umukunzi wawe atakiri umwizerwa kuri wowe. Bimwe muri ibi bimenyetso nubwo ubona bigaragaza byose ko umuntu mukundana atakiri umwizerwa kuri wowe cyangwa se arimo kuguca inyuma, nubwo byose icyarimwe bitakorwa n’umuntu umwe ariko buri kimwe cyakorwa n’umuntu, ari nabyo bigiye kukwereka buri muntu wese uri guca mugenzi we m’urukundo uburyo ashobora kuba yitwara.

GUHINDURA UBURYO BW’ITUMANAHO MWAKORESHAGA.

Kugabanya kuganira ndetse n’ubundi buryo bw’itumanaho mwakoreshaga ntago ari ikimenyetso cyiza ku bantu bakundana. Niba umuntu mukundana mutakiganira (yewe ngo munashwane) ntago aba agisangiye umunsi we nawe, cyangwa se ijambo “ndagukunda” ritakivugwa mu rukundo rwanyu harimo ikibazo. Ibi bimenyetso  birimo no kwanga kumvwa, gusubiza cyangwa se kwemera ibyo urimo kuvuga nabyo bishobora kuba bimwe mu bimenyetso biranga kutizerwa mu rukundo:

• kwirengagiza ibyo uvuga
• mu gihe muri kuganira agahindura ikiganiro ashaka ko mutavuga ku ngingo runaka
• kukubwira impamvu adashaka kuvuga
• kwanga gusubiza ibyo umubajije
• kugushinja amakosa aho kwemera ko muganira ku kibazo mufite
• gukoresha ibimenyetso by’umubiri nko kurerembura amaso cyangwa kuyafunga
• kukwitegereza cyane cyangwa se kwirindiriza kukuvugisha.

GUHINDURA UKO YARI ASANZWE AGARAGARA CYANGWA SE IBYO AKUNDA

Mu byukuri, kwiyitaho ndetse no kugira ibintu bishya ukunda ndetse n’akazi ibyo nta kibazo kibirimo. Ariko iyo hivanzemo indi mwitwarire, ibi bimenyetso bishobobora gutuma ukeka ko atakiri wawundi:

• umukunzi wawe asigaye yambara neza birenze urugero cyangwa se ukabona atangiye kwita cyane k’ukuntu asanzwe agaragara ashaka kurushaho.
• Umukunzi wawe atangiye gukunda ibintu bishya bitandukanye nibyo yari asanzwe akunda bimusaba kujya abikora buri munsi, ndetse nawe watangira kubikunda akakubwira ko Atari byiza cyangwa se akagusaba kutabikora.
• Umukunzi wawe asigaye akora amasaha menshi cyane arenze uko yari asanzwe akora mu kazi.

GUHINDURA IMYITWARIRE

Umukunzi wawe ashobora guhura n’ibizazane (stress) byo mu kazi cyangwa se urundi rukundo arimo bishobora gutuma atangira guhindura imyitwarire. Ibi bimenyetso bishobora kukwereka ko atakiri umwizerwa muri ubwo buryo, uretse ko bishoboka ko haba hari nindi mpamvu iri kubitera.

• Ubona atangiye kwitakariza icyizere iyo muri kumwe
• Ahora ashaka intambara hagati yawe na we.
• Iyo umubwiye ibyo kutamwizera cyangwa se izindi nkundo ashobora kuba arimo, azana amagambo yo kwirengera nk’urwitwazo.
• Iyo umubwiye ko ashobora kuba aguca inyuma igisubizo aguha wumva kitakunyuze.

KUBESHYA NO KUKWIRINDA

Kutavugisha ukuri m’urukundo cyangwa se kubashakanye ni nk’ikarita y’umutuku. Uwo mukundana cyangwa mwashakanye iyo ari kugaragara nkutangiye kukwirinda byerekana ko ashobora kuba aguca inyuma.

• Wiyumvamo ko ari kukwirinda bitewe n’uburyo arimo kukwitwaraho.
• Ntago aba agishaka kujyana nawe ahantu mwajyanaga cyangwa se ngo akorane nawe ibyo mwari musanzwe mukorana.
• Usanga asigaye akubeshya ku bintu byinshi bimwe na bimwe bitandukanye.
• Inshuti ze uba usanga zikwirinda nawe.
• Ubona asigaye agukinga amabanga
• Iyobokamana atangira kurishyira ku ruhande
• Ahubwo we atangira kugushinja ko umuca inyuma.

KWEREKANA ITANDUKANIRO

Iyo umukunzi wawe cyangwa uwo mwashakanye atangiye kugaragaza itandukaniro, ibintu yakundaga agatangira kubyanga, biba byiza iyo umuganirije mu gihe uri gukeka ko hari impamvu irimo kubitera. Ariko igihe urimo gukeka ko ashobora kuba ari kuguca inyuma, ibi bimenyetso bishobora kukwereka koko ko ibyo ukeka aribyo.

• Iyo ari kumwe nawe akwereka ko fite irungu (bored) haba ku kazi, abana banyu, ibyo yari asanzwe akunda iyo Bihari, ndetse n’ubuzima muri rusange.
• Agaragara nk’umunebwe cyane cyane iyo muri mu rugo.
• Ntago aba akigufuhira icyo wamubwira cyose.
• Ntago aba agikunda ibirori byo mu muryango wanyu.

IMPINDUKA MU BUZIMA BWO GUKORA IMIBONANO MPUZABITSINA

Ntago ari ibintu bisanzwe ko habaho impinduka ku bantu basanzwe baryamana cyangwa se bashakanye mu buryo bakoramo imibonano mpuzabitsina iyo nta kibazo bafite. Ibi bimenyetso rero birakwereka ko ibyo iyo byabaye haba harimo ikibazo.

• Usanga umubano wanyu waragabanutse, kwifuza ko muryamana bitagifite imbaraga.
• Akenshi usanga muryamana gake cyane.
• Usanga hari ibintu byinshi bishya biza mu kuryamana kwanyu bitari Bihari mbere, nkama position ndetse n’ibindi bimenyetso.
• Akenshi uzakunda no kwandura indwara zandurira mu mibonano mpuzabitsina ariko usange nta handi wayikura.

IBIBAZO BY’AMAFRANGA

Igihe cyose cyangwa se kinini abashakanye bakunda kugira stress z’amafranga mu gihe kimwe cyangwa se ikindi. Ariko ushaka kumenya niba koko harimo ikibazo mu gihe urimo gukekakeka dore ibimenyetso byabikwereka.

• Usanga hari amafranga yakoreshejwe n’umukunzi wawe ariko bidafite impamvu zifatika.
• Amafranga atangira kuba ikibazo gikomeye hagati yanyu, murayapfa.
• Umukunzi wawe arekera aho ngaho gupanga imishinga minini (harimo ingendo, kugura inzu, kuvugurura, n’ibindi).

UKO WAKWITWARA K’UMUKUNZI CYANGWA SE UWO MWASHAKANYE UGUCA INYUMA.

Akenshi umukunzi wawe numubwira ko aguca inyuma niyo byaba aribyo, azabihakana. Mu gihe udafite ibimenyetso bifatika abantu benshi ntago bemera ko Atari abizerwa ubwabo. Hari uburyo buke bushobora kukubwira ko umukunzi wawe akubeshya. Buri uko ushatse kuganira nawe kuri byo buri gihe agahora agusubiza inyuma, akubwira ko adashaka ko mubiganiraho, ushobora gushaka ubundi burenzeho bwo gukemura ibibazo byanyu, mushobora no kugisha inama.

Niba ukunda gusoma inkuru z’uruhererekane zirimo ubutumwa ndetse z’amateka, urukundo n’ubuzima, kuri uru rubuga rwacu twatangiye inkuru IBANGO RY’IBANGA: Uko amaraso yacu yabaye umusozi w’amaganya muri menu y’inkuru ndende. Tangirana nayo utazasigara.

Imana ibahe umugisha, turabakunda cyane.