“Iyo muhamagaye ambwira ko ankunda ariko ahuze, tuza kuvugana ahugutse, umunsi ugaca igihu ngitegereje. Iyo duhuye ntiyemera ko nkora kuri telefoni ye ngo harimo amabanga y’akazi. Twishimana iyo turyamanye nyuma akamfata nk’abandi bose. Ubwo ntakunda abandi?”

Ibyo ni ibibazo bamwe mu bari mu rukundo bakunze kwibaza, bashidikanya niba koko bakunzwe cyangwa batendetswe ku bandi.

Nta nduru ivugira ubusa ku musozi burya. Ntibipfa kwizana gutekereza nabi umukunzi, cyangwa kumva ko atakiguha urukundo rwa nyarwo, ahubwo haba hari ibimenyetso bigutera kujarajaza intekerezo, ndetse rimwe na rimwe bikaganisha ku kuri.

Harimo impamvu zitandukanye zituma ibyo bibaho, ari na zo tugiye kugarukaho muri iyi nkuru.

1.       Yakugize amahitamo ya nyuma 

Uwitwa Kega Natacha yatanze ubuhamya buto, avuga ko bigitangira umukunzi we yamwitagaho mu buryo budasanzwe, ariko bigahinduka kugeza aho yumva yamutakaje burundu.

Ati “Twahuraga buri munsi ambwira ko akunda kumpobera, tukaganira bigatinda, ndetse buri kanya akambwira ko yampisemo nk’urukundo rw’ubuzima bwe, ntahari byamugora kubaho. Ariko ubu ambwira ko ahuze nyamara sinsobanurirwe n’ibimuhugije.”

Iki ni kimwe benshi bahurizaho mu rukundo rwabayemo impinduka mbi, aho umukunzi wawe yihinduranya mu buryo bumugoye na we gusobanura, akagushyira mu gihirahiro.

2.                 Agushinja kumuca inyuma 

Aho wajishije igisabo ntuhatera ibuye. Ukuri kuba mu rukundo ni uko uwo wihebeye umwubaha ndetse ukirinda kumushinja ibintu bibi, cyane cyane kuguca inyuma igihe utamwifatiye.

Munyana Betty yagize ati “Igihe cyose ngerageza kumubaza impamvu atakimvugisha, atakiganira nanjye nka mbere, akambwira ko ntakimwizera nshobora kuba muca inyuma, akampirikiraho amakosa.”

Amakosa mu rukundo abaho agakemurwa no kuyaganiraho. Ariko igihe umuntu atumva amakosa akora ahubwo akagushinja andi, bisobanuye ko yifuza kukurakaza bikamworohera kugusezera. Niba bikubaho, tekereza kabiri ku mukunzi wawe.

3.                  Kuguhunga

Abahararanye mu nkundo ntibatana. Rimwe baba bafatanye agatoki ku kandi, bavugana cyane kurusha abandi, ndetse bakanezezwa no kugumana.

Ibijya gushya birashyuha. Ese wigeze wumva agahinda ugira igihe umukunzi wawe wakumenyereje kukuba hafi, umubuze mu buryo utazi?

Mukeshimana Aline yavuze ko buri week-end yabaga yasohokanye n’umukunzi, ndetse igihe atabonetse akamusobanurira impamvu, akanya kose abonye uwo musore agahita ajya kumureba n’urukundo rwinshi.

Ati “Isosi yaguyemo inshishi ubwo namusabaga amafaranga yo kwisukisha [kwita ku musatsi] maze kuvugana biragabanuka, namusaba kumusura mukumbuye akambwira ko adahari ahuze cyane, ikintu ntari muziho na gato”.

Ntiwakwemeza ko umukunzi wagufashe gutya yagiye mu rundi rukundo, gusa ntiwahakana ko agaciro yaguhaga kagenda kayoyoka, gusa rimwe na rimwe ushobora kunaniza umukunzi wawe umusaba ibyo adafite akakwanga.

4.                 Gutinda mu bikoresho by’ikoranabuhanga

Ni urucabana ko umukunzi utamusimbuza telefoni, mudasobwa, televiziyo n’ibindi byagutera guhuga ukamwibagirwa.

Ni nde uyobewe ko urukundo rushobora kuguhuma mu maso, ukabura n’umwanya wo kuvugisha abavandimwe bawe ariko umukunzi akitabwaho?

Rukundo Patrick ati “Sinzibagirwa uko umukobwa nkunda twahuraga ibintu byose akabibika, akicara hafi yanjye, akanyiyegamiza. Ariko ubu, iyo duhuye aba yibereye ku mbuga nkoranyambaga, yirebera filime n’ibindi, ubanza ngiye kumubura.”

5.                  Ibinyoma

Ibinyoma ni inzira yo kwirwanirira no guhisha isura yawe y’ibibi.

Gasana Aubert yabisobanuye agira ati “Umukobwa nihebeye yarasigaye ambeshya ko amasaha y’akazi yiyongereye ndabyemera. Rimwe nasohokanye n’inshuti zanjye muri hoteli, nkubitwa n’inkuba musanze yicaranye n’undi musore bambwiraga ko bakundana, nkabyita amagambo.”

Umukunzi wawe ashobora kugucika bitewe n’imico yawe, ariko kubisobanura bikanga.

Biragatsindwa kubura uwo wihebeye. Kubunza imitima, kwiyanga, kurira, kwibaza niba uri mubi, kumva ko utazongera gukunda n’umubura, ni byo byibera mu mutima w’uwahuye n’ibi bihe.

Inkuru nziza ni uko igihe cyose watakaje umuntu wakundaga utabigizemo uruhare, ushobora gufata umurongo mushya kandi ukabona ugukunda by’ukuri.